Valiant Read online

  “Why do you have to keep me alive? And who is ‘we’? Are you— Have you been hearing voices?” He pauses and focuses on my face, studying me. “Maybe we should get you to see a doctor?”

  I shake my head. Trying to make Gabe believe me has been one of the hardest parts of the last few jumps. I take a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. Until the launch, let’s just pretend there really will be an invasion. Once that rocket goes up in the sky, you need to be with me and you have to stay with me, got it? We stay together until the sun comes up. Then I’ll go see a doctor. Deal?”

  I hold out my hand, waiting.

  His eyes narrow; he chews on his lip. It feels like a century passes. Finally, he extends his hand and shakes mine. This is something we’ve done since he was a little kid, and it was usually when I was promising not to tell Mom or Dad something he had done wrong. I covered for him so many times and took the blame, because our parents didn’t have much patience for a boy like him. A boy who got beat up by local gangs, who forgot to do his homework, and who sometimes broke into their stash of drugs.

  For now, he’s safe.

  “I gotta go, Gabe,” I tell him. “See you at dinner, ’kay? Promise?”

  “You’re the weirdest sister in the world,” he says.

  I give him a hug.

  Then I dash off to enlist the next member of my team, hoping that it goes smoother than this.

  3

  Natalie is my closest friend and the only person I can really confide in. She knows all my deepest, darkest secrets.

  Including how I really feel about Justin.

  But whenever I tell her about the Xua, she looks for the plot flaw in my story. Really, what sane person would believe that aliens are coming to take over our world and that apparently the key to stopping it all is to keep my brother alive?

  I still go to her, though, jump after jump. I can’t do this without her. Besides being a hacker supreme, she has the best ideas, and she thinks so far outside the box that you forget you’re even in a box. I know I have to head over to her first, even though there’s someone I want to see even more.

  Justin.

  He’s in my thoughts when I call Natalie on my skin sites—a series of wetware transmitters we had installed back when I was ten when they were the latest techno rage. Pretty much everyone born within the last hundred years now has to listen to an endless stream of government-approved music and news.

  It’s why half the people in L.A. are addicts. What we call “Addies.”

  I jog down the stairs, out the front door, and down the street, until finally my call goes through and I hear her voice.

  “What’s up, Sara?” she asks. “You don’t sound right. Is something wrong?”

  Well, there’s the part about how we only have a few days to do something that really takes about a year, and oh yeah, the last time we did this, you died, right in my frigging arms, your blood pouring out onto the ground, and then I was gone, traveling through time again, with your blood still on my hands—

  I hate telling her that part.

  “Yeah, can we hang out?” I ask, my voice shaking. “Like, now?”

  “Sure. Where are you?”

  “I’m almost there.” I sprint around a corner, past a cluster of First Street Dragons in the midst of a drug deal, and I see her, standing on her front porch, one hand on her ear as she tries to block out other noises so she can hear me better.

  I wish Justin were here, too. And Gabe. And Billy. Unfortunately, it never goes well if I try to tell them all at once. Either Billy or Gabe will think it’s all a joke, and it ends up taking days to convince them.

  I don’t have days. I have hours.

  That’s why I always have to see Natalie first.

  She usually dies right before Gabe.

  …

  “You look like crap. You aren’t taking that Syn-Op your parents are trying to sell, are you?” Natalie asks. She hands me one of her ReCyc drinks, something she makes out of homegrown ginseng and recycled water. At this point, I’m so out of breath that I gulp it down without complaining about the taste. We pass the kitchen along the way, where her mom is making dinner, and the smell of sweet potatoes, soy sauce, and synthetic beef makes my mouth water.

  By the time we reach Natalie’s bedroom, her mom has given me a bowl of japchae and I’m almost ready to give my practiced speech. I’ve learned this is what I have to say to everyone on my team, to convince them there really is a Big Bad Apocalypse of the Alien Variety hanging over our heads.

  Everyone except Justin.

  All I have to do is look at him, my eyes reflecting the torment of my recent journey through time, the pain of having just lost my brother and Natalie and Billy and sometimes him, too. One look and he knows something horrible is going on. Just being with him makes me feel better, like somehow we’re going to make it.

  But this isn’t about me feeling better, so I’ll go see him later.

  Later.

  Later is a mantra I repeat to myself over and over, like when I want to go to a concert or find a dress for prom or sleep late on a Saturday morning like every other seventeen-year-old girl. There’s plenty of time for normal girl stuff. Later.

  I have to do this now.

  Or there won’t be a later.

  …

  We sit next to each other on Nat’s bed as I talk, and I try not to look at all the math and science trophies she’s got lining her bookcase. I try not to think about the fact that she’d be the perfect candidate to intern at JPL-NASA next year or that she’s already been accepted at Columbia and Cornell, if she wants to go to either of those universities. I hate seeing the perfect future that is waiting for her because, so far, all I’ve done is fail to save that future.

  I focus on the day of the launch.

  Natalie stares at me, her mouth hanging open, which isn’t like her—it’s not like her at all. She’s the calm one in our group of five, this group that has stood together to protect Gabe the last fourteen jumps. Maybe some part of her knows that the Xua always kill her, too, even though I haven’t mentioned that yet. Maybe she feels a shiver racing up her spine and maybe she really wants to say, No, I’m not down for this, not this time.

  But she just watches me as I ramble on, giving her my speech, the one that breaks hearts and delivers nightmares, the one I’ve practiced over and over. She doesn’t remember, but she’s the one who helped me put this talk together, and she convinced me that I have to repeat it to her right away.

  I need to know who the monsters are. That was what she said four lifetimes ago, right before she died.

  Best friend, meet the monsters.

  So I tell her about all the different kinds of Xua, from the Jumpers to the Leaders. I stutter, my hands shake, and I stare at the floor while I talk. I don’t look at her until I’ve finished telling her about the aliens.

  She’s staring past me, almost like she can see a Xua standing in the distance.

  “Gabe isn’t the only one who dies, is he?” she asks. She licks her lips and struggles to swallow, but she still won’t look at me.

  “No,” I say.

  Her gaze slides toward me, and it’s as if she’s seeing me for the first time, that she finally recognizes me as a harbinger of death instead of a best friend. I don’t want to keep talking, but I have to.

  “Sometimes Billy dies. Sometimes Justin does, too,” I say, then pause. When I speak again, my voice cracks. “But Gabe dies every time. And so do you.”

  “How do I die?”

  “It’s different—every time, it’s a different way.” A tear slides down my cheek and my lips tremble because, in my mind, I can see her dead already. She’s a ghost who haunts me.

  Her brow furrows. She’s beginning to believe all of this is real. I can see the anger building inside her. It’s only a small flame right now,
but Natalie never does anything as a slow burn. She’s an inferno. She’s either all in or not at all.

  I wait for her to answer, to say she’ll help me.

  She has to say yes; she just has to. I can’t do it without her. Aerithin acts like I’m the one who will save the world, but he’s never been here and seen Natalie in action.

  She blinks and then swallows again, as if what she wants to say won’t come out.

  “Natalie. Please, I need you,” I say. If I have to beg, I will.

  I think I see a glisten of tears in the corners of her eyes, but she’s not the type to cry. WTF is going on?

  If she says no, I’m lost—

  She straightens, forces a smile, and puts one hand on top of mine.

  “You know I’m there for you.” Her voice sounds hoarse. She knows I think this is our last chance—I had to tell her that part, too.

  I nod, and we hug each other.

  Natalie’s not the type to cry, but I am. I try to hold it in, but I can’t. I really suck at this end-of-the-world crap.

  4

  I meet him in the park on the corner of Segerstrom and Douglas, halfway between his house and mine. The sun hovers on the horizon, turning the whole world orange and red, setting all the rusted playground equipment ablaze. The slide looks like it’s made out of rubies, the merry-go-round looks like it’s made from layers of gold, and the swing set…well, it looks like it was created for this moment when it would hold a minor god.

  Justin is human perfection—literally—because he’s a Genetic, part of a military experiment that went awry more than a decade ago and had to be shut down. Before he was born, his parents won a government lottery to be part of an experimental program for Genetic Embryo In Vitro Enhancement.

  Every kid in the GEIVE program got a different genetic cocktail, but all those records have either been destroyed or are top secret, so no one knows exactly what Genetics can do. Justin made it out alive when most of the other kids didn’t. And even though almost everyone else is either repulsed by or scared of him—because of his height, his bulk, his speed and intelligence—to me, he’s only Justin.

  When we’re together, I’m only Sara.

  He’s not a Genetic boy, and I’m not a girl who’s supposed to save the world.

  He’s one of my closest friends, and he hangs out with my little brother almost as often as he hangs out with me, and the sight of him takes my breath away.

  I walk toward him at a normal pace even though I want to run.

  He’s studying me, noting my posture, my expression. I want to tell him everything, that the last time I saw him, an army of Xua was chasing him and I couldn’t fight them off. I tried, but that was when Aerithin came back for me.

  Guilt washes over me.

  Everyone I care about dies.

  I’m the worst friend in the world.

  He could change his mind this time. He could say, “Hey, you’re like poison ivy, girl, stay away…”

  But he won’t. He’s been the one constant in my life.

  He’s the person who always makes me feel safe.

  He flashes me one of his heart-stopping grins and holds the swing next to him for me. I know other girls get weak in the knees looking at his muscles, even though they won’t admit it, and, yes, that body of his is pretty sweet. But the thing about him that always gets me is his smile. I swear, it’s brighter than the sun and it gives off the same amount of heat.

  As soon as I sit down, he knows. Not everything—there’s no way in the world he could know everything. He might be a Genetic, but he’s not psychic.

  His blue eyes study me; his dark hair is tucked behind his ears, a few strands hanging loose.

  “What is it?” he asks. He hasn’t let go of my swing yet.

  “There’s some bad stuff going on,” I say, and I force my lips not to tremble. I don’t want to cry, not now. “And I need to tell you about it.”

  “Yeah? You know I’m here for you. Doesn’t matter what it is.”

  He gives me a look that’s so innocent and full of concern. He doesn’t even know what I’m going to ask and yet he’s still willing to do it.

  I wish more than anything that we could talk about something else.

  Instead, I give him the same speech I gave to Natalie.

  He blinks and nods, quiet. He doesn’t even flinch when I tell him that I’ve seen him die. The only part that gets him is when I tell him that sometimes we get separated and I don’t know where he is. His face darkens and his brow lowers and he stares at the ground, almost as if he remembers.

  “I’ve never hurt you, have I?” he asks. “Because I can’t do this if I might hurt you.”

  “No, you’ve never hurt me, I promise.” I take his hand in mine. “You try to save me.”

  Then I give him a laser switchblade. “Keep it with you at all times, even when you’re sleeping,” I say. After that, I teach him how to fight the Xua, just like I did with Natalie and Gabe, and like I will with Billy tomorrow.

  It doesn’t take long. Genetics were bred for war. That much we know.

  By the time we’re finished, the sun has disappeared, and a handful of stars are glistening overhead. I have to get home. I give Justin an awkward hug, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning into him.

  “It’s going to be okay this time,” he says.

  Then he does something he’s never done before, and I know I shouldn’t read anything into it, but I can’t help it. He kisses me on the top of my head. It’s such a perfect moment, I wish it could last forever. It’s hard to say goodbye to Justin.

  I’ll only see him a few more times before the end of the world.

  There’s never enough time to tell someone you might be falling in love with them.

  …

  “No way. You guys are totally making this up. Who’s filming this? Is it that homeless guy over by the dumpster? He’s been watching us the entire time—”

  Billy’s rant goes on and on, and I honestly don’t think he’s ever been this hard to convince before.

  Usually all he needs to know is that Natalie will be there.

  Those two have never admitted how they feel about each other.

  Billy looks a lot like me except his hair is bleached blond, always tangled and always hanging in his eyes. Average height, average build, he’s got just enough tats to fit in with the ride crowd and hair long enough to fit in with the slacker crowd. He’s wealthy enough to fit in with the rich crowd, and he’s smart enough to fit in with the geek crowd. He fits in everywhere, makes friends easily, and can convince people that if they hang out with him, he’ll show them a good time—which is why he’s one of the most valuable members of my crew.

  We argue for another half an hour before he drops the prank theory, grabs the laser blade from me, and starts asking real questions.

  “So this Aerithin person,” he says, turning the weapon over in his hands. “He told you if we keep Gabe alive, the invasion ends?”

  Not exactly, but I’ve got to believe saving the world includes the Xua leaving. “Something like that.”

  He stares at me. “What if he’s wrong?”

  “Then we move on to plan B,” I say, hoping my panic over the idea doesn’t bleed through my words. I don’t have a plan B—Aerithin didn’t give me any other options—but I really need Billy on board if we have any shot at pulling this off. “Are you in or not?”

  Billy’s jaw ticks, and his eyes harden. “What, exactly, is plan B?”

  Crap. “I haven’t figured that out yet, but I will.”

  Beside me, Natalie glares at him, her hands on her hips and her teeth gritted. Billy’s one step away from getting the Wrath of Natalie, which nobody likes. I wince, waiting for it to hit the fan. Justin glances at me, his eyebrows raised. I’m just about to step in when Natalie suddenly takes a comple
tely different approach.

  She moves to stand behind Billy and takes his right hand—the hand holding the blade—in hers, then puts her left hand on his waist, holding him in place. “Use it like this,” she says. Natalie lifts Billy’s arm up and then swings it down in a swift motion. “We need you,” she says gently as she moves in front of him. “We’re going to do this. All of us. Together. Okay?”

  Billy blinks down at her, and his expression says it all. I don’t even have to ask.

  He’s totally with us now.

  Just like every lifetime before this. It only took a little convincing from Natalie.

  I just hope it doesn’t come down to a plan B.

  5

  Morning comes too soon.

  All night long, sirens wailed, fireworks exploded, and people celebrated an event that hasn’t happened yet. They can’t wait for the Valiant to launch.

  A sick feeling settles in the base of my stomach.

  Today is the day everything changes.

  I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to live through today again.

  I push out of bed and wrap my arms around myself as I pace my room, panic setting in. This isn’t going to work. Even if we save Gabe, even if we stop the invasion, so many people are still going to die, and I doubt that I have any do-overs left. This is probably the last life I have, and I keep seeing the faces of the people who are going to die tonight. My neighbors, kids from school, Gabe’s friends, my parents—

  I’ve always had the security of knowing I could come back and try again. But I have to believe that Aerithin’s screams mean that security net is gone.

  This is it. My last chance.

  Billy’s questions have my brain spinning. I have to do something different or I’m going to fail, just like all the other times.

  I flip on my skin sites and call Natalie.

  Get up, get up, get up.

  “Sara? What’s going on?” she says.

  “We can’t keep doing the same thing over and over,” I tell her. “Meet me at the park in fifteen. Bring your camera and laptop.”